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Oh What A Night

June 8, 2009 - Ben Feldman
The President and his wife, our First Lady, recently left Washington amid the cauldron of political conflict to take in a play on New York's Broadway. It's great to see romance in the first couple as they enjoy a date night on the weekend. It's good that he forgets that he is the President in a deeply troubled time of economic stress for families. Indeed, some Americans are hanging on to a thread of the barest financial existence. And I particularly like the fact that it cost the taxpayers 24000 dollars to fly the President and his entourage to the exciting Big Apple. You see, this is government spending. He took his aides, pilots, and bodyguards all to New York. This is wonderful. They dined in a posh restaurant, so his personal cooks and servants had the night off. Thoughtful, indeed. While this was happening Americans were doing what the President asks, we were watching our pennies and eating our hot dogs, pizza and sodas at Sam's or Costco's. Actually, the Presidents trip was an investment in America, like the stimulus bills he cherishes. This, he vows will get America moving again. Honestly, we shouldn't be too critical of the President. After all, he is inexperienced and we are just the people. It's up to us to get through this Federal Reserve boom and bust by our sacrifice, self denial, and penury. I mean, think about it, the President has to shoulder the problems of unemployment, wars, bail outs, and borrowing to pay off borrowing as advised by his Ph.D's who study their mathmatical models and see that printing money is an investment in America's future. Plus, the President has to travel the world to make those inspiring and moving apeeches. You see,that's the Presidents job----talking. A good talker is a good President. Yes, traveling the globe is expensive but its worthwhile government spending. Anyway, who wants a mumbler,an inarticulate convoluted syntax destroyer of the mother tongue for President? It's better to have an elegant speaker who uses broad abstractions that mean nothing so the people can fill in their own meaning. That is a good leader. A good talker at a painful time for America is the perfect medicine. All we need now is to hear the mellifluous vocal chords of the President and we faint. Some slobber in ecstacy. And Americans aren't the only slobberers. Europe slobbers at the mere mention of the Presidents name. His elegance has gained a much broader appeal than any President in recent history, which for most people is limited to twenty minutes. Unfortunately, the American people are struggling and not in the position to jet off to the Big Apple on a whimsy. Money is tight so many of us have taken jobs to augment our income or replace it entirely. Some of us have become alligator hunters, baby sitters, exotic dancers and even hamster trainers. In the meantine, our President and leaders of the political class boobus americanus have not had to lower their incomes. So, capitalism is not dead. As long as we Americans are sacrificing, our political leaders will not fall into penury. Incidentally, its exhilirating to know that our leader of the House of Representatives, the unamed Princess, Nancy Pelosi, has different planes to fly on. Or, so it is said. This is unconfirmed but, why shouldn't royaly live royal? This is the American system at its best. Government bureaucracy working for the people, in the people, quietly, secretly.


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